weluuckaright

afraid.

Kategori: Allmänt

i don't know what's waiting for me at the end of the tunnel. i hope it's a bog box of chocolates but i fear for the worst. i don't want to feel this way. every time i see/hear or even when someone mentions your name i hope for the best and fear for the worst. i don't know what you are doing and i know i can't control you and that's something i don't want to either. i just wanna be able to trust you. to see right in those beautiful eyes of your and trust every look, every glans and i want to hear your voice and believe every word that comes out. i can't change the past but i can change the future. i'm just hoping you're willing to do the same.

waiting.

Kategori: Allmänt

you know the feeling when you're waiting for something. the feeling of expectations. i've been waiting for a hec of a long time now and i'm correcting a misstake i said in (swe.) that my birthday (är på den fjärde advent och inte den tredje). by now it should be decimeters of snow on teh ground but it isn't. it's lots of the boring frost and that's only by night. december is suppost to be white and bright but still dark if you know what i mean. i'm waiting for the first snowfall and ofcourse my birthday.

Awkward.

Kategori: Allmänt

I said okay. Then you said you would be there I thought you ment it. then. You suddenly ignore me, don't wanna be seen with me. I don't understand. Why is everything not as it should be. Can anyone explain why everything has to be so damn difficult when it's as easy as walking, breathing and speaking. And when you act like this it's not as easy as that...

1/12-11

Kategori: Allmänt

"No light, no light in your bright blue eyes 
I never knew daylight could be so violent 
A revelation in the light of day, 
You can't chose what stays and what fades away"


packing.. so fun.. but the destination is kind of fun. norrköping. apparently i'm suppost to share room with someone bu tthe problem is that i only know two of the guys i'm going with so that shall be interesting to see how they work that out. my mum has guests over as i speak and i've finally managed to break free from the party. i was suppost to pack.. okay, bye then!

all this and heaven too.

Kategori: Allmänt

I would put them back in poetry If I'd only knew how I can't seem to understand it I would give all this and heaven too I would give it all if only for a moment That I could just understand The meaning of the word you see 'Cause I've been scrawling it forever But it never makes sense to me at all Words, poor language Doesn't deserve such treatment And all my stumbling phrases never amounted To anything worth this feeling All this heaven Never could describe such a feeling as I'm in Words were never so useful So I'm screaming out a language That I never knew existed before

alcoholic.

Kategori: Allmänt

I was compared to an alcoholic today. The saying; it's toughest the first two days then it's only your own mind that stand in your way. So true. I can feel the frustration. Conclusion = I'm not going to be an alcoholic when I grow up, I already know the feeling and I don't like it one bit.

Stupid.

Kategori: Allmänt

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

But now I come home
And I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of the one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I never knew what it was to be alone, no
'Cause you were always there for me
You were always home waiting

But now I come home
And it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
But I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you'll be here with me still

All you did you did with feeling
And you always found a meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

And I know
You're a part of me
And it's your song
That sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight
'Cause it comforts me

Alone.

Kategori: Allmänt

I'm alone, can't think and feeling so fu**ing alone. Said some thing I'm not so proud of but I still meant them somehow. I didn't want this. I wanted everything besides how this turned out. I need you to be there. I don't wanna feel alone.

swe.

Kategori: Allmänt

första advent människor! är det bara jag som åt gröt till frukost och ett x antal lussebullar? det enda som saknas nu är snön! var är den? aja, jag är inte så ledsen över det än för jaghar precis öppnat min första advents påse som min mamma har fint fixat iordning. det var en låda från victoria's secret :D
den fanns i denna fina rad;
(förlåt att alla siffror är åt fel håll! men har ingen normal kamera än...)
jag får öppna en varje advent!! och inte nog med det gott folk, jag har också fått denna;
så från den första december får jag öppna en ask varja dag tills julafton :D och vet ni vad det bästa är? den tredje advent (18 december) fyller jag år och då får jag öppna påse nr 3 och den rosa rosetten i granen ovan :) glad tjej just nu (a) nu får ni ha det så bra och hålla tummarna för att det ska börja snöa snart!!!

gifts.

Kategori: Allmänt

my mum just got back from a little trip that she decided to go without me. she was in NEW YORK! i know, not fair. anyway now she's back and of course she broght home some gifts. underwear and a pj from victoria's secret, lotions from kiehl's and a few more things. i love them all!! and i love my mum so much! i've missed her like crazy and now when i don't have to worry about her anymore i realize how stressed i am about school. it's chaos, all the time everywhere. wwwoppps.. is that the time?

cosy.

Kategori: Allmänt

today has been a hectic, scary and tough for me both physically and emotionally. but when today ended and i went home with my dear friend josefine we did nothing all afternoon besides bake, see toy story 3, eat indian food and later on eat more of our cake and see avatar. it's been amazing to have done nothing and pretty much at the same time. we're exhausted after today so now it's time for bed everyone. godnight sleepyheads.

jeans.

Kategori: Allmänt

jeans is suppost to fit perfectly. they're hard to break so the last almost forever. the only time you take them off is when you grow out of them or when they finally after all they've been through break.

where ARE you.

Kategori: Allmänt

where are you when i need you? you're suppost to be here with me, talk to me and hold my hand. i wanna make you proud and be the best but you need to be here to notice it. sitting here looking out of my window thinking of you, ofcourse. i miss you. come home to me again. 

make up your mind.

Kategori: Allmänt

say this, think that and do this. my head spinning round so hard my head hurts. why can't i just see clearly and accept what has happened? that's right because i'm afraid. i'm afraid of getting stabbed in the back. i'm tired of all the explanations and conversations about it. prove it if you really mean it. you say that your a terrible person and i can't agree more but i'm in love with you is that so hard for you to understand? i love you! you say you love me back but why do you go skrew it up all the time then? it's doesn't show me that you care about me or even think about what i'm going to be feeling when i figure it out or when you tell me about the things you've been doing. you say it's better that the truth comes out soner that later no matter what, even if you'll lose that person forever you'll say it anyway. soon you will lose. me. forever.

worries.

Kategori: Allmänt

Never let me go, never let me go. 
Never let me go, never let me go. 

Never let me go, never let me go. 
Never let me go, never let me go. 
Never let me go, never let me go. 
Never let me go, never let me go. 

Never let me go, never let me go. 
Never let me go, never let me go. 

memories became reality.

Kategori: Allmänt

i can't belive what happened. it's amazing and awful at the same time. my heart says one thing while my head says an other. sometimes you have to make the tough choices in life. you have to make all the bad choices, couse if you don't make the bad ones how would you know when you've made a right one? i know that this time i made the right choice. some people say that somethings plays out like a memorie or deja vu and it's so true. it's like i'm living a dream when i hear your voice, that i can actually see your face, feel your touch and sometimes even hear you say "i love you". greatful, happy and blessed. yeah that sumes it up.

i'm sitting here in this boring room

Kategori: Allmänt

at the moment i'm sitting here and doing my homework. or i should rather say that i'm suppost to do my home work, instead i'm sitting here writing this and taking some photos, listening to music and checking facebook every 10 second. when i wrote the headline i started singing lemon tree and that brings back some old memories from 5th grade when we sang this song and we wore these sparkly golden hats. good times. good times. i know i've been bad at updating my blog but i have no camera and know you don't think thats an excuse but for me it is. i'm working every sunday now to get enough money and coming up around the corner is my birthday and then christmas so soon you'll see/hear more from me.

belive.

Kategori: Allmänt

you have to have trust in me and you need to belive what i'm telling you otherwise you can say no at anytime. because if there's anything i can't handle it's doubt. trust and belive.

w.39

Kategori: Allmänt

after a weeks holiday for no offical reason with other words my school rocks. which was amazing by the way. i got to see my little sister and finish 12 in a bowling competition. so i'm quite happy with it's outcome. got to meet some old friends and made some new ones aswell. i got to talk to my boyfriend for a second or two. i didn't now what to say so i just sat there smiling for myself. which he didn't know so he probably thought that i didn't want to talk to him or something but thats not true. i was just surprised that he called thats all. after this week i really need some sleep before i'm forced to go up and go to school tomorrow so godnight.

i'm fallin'.

Kategori: Allmänt

i have something i have to tell you..
i've always found it really anoying when someone is texting you everyday, calling you every night. but now i understand why. you can't help it. that's why. it's not anyones fault you are the one to blame if anyone is to be. i'm falling for you. i can't control or not feel what i feel. i know you feel the same thing. you told me you loved me. that night when you for the first time told me i will never forget. it was perfect. my friend told me yesterday when i was telling her about that night. that she should have recorded it and then show it to you. why? because i couldn't stop smiling.
do you get what i'm saying?
good.